I promised myself that this blog would never turn into anything emotional. I'm just not that person. I don't just put myself out there because I hate feeling vulnerable, exposed, and not in control of a situation. But I've gotten to a point where I just don't even know what to do anymore.

For the longest time when something was wrong or bugging me, I always kept it to myself. I made it my problem only. I was the only person I needed to control the situation. Sometimes that strategy helped, and other times it hurt, but all in all it limited how often something could really hurt me.

When Mike and I started dating my way of dealing with issues only caused more between us. Since I knew this was one kid that I really actually liked, I knew I had to seriously reevaluate my system. If things were going to work out between us I would actually have to let him in.

And I did. Slowly. But I did it. And know I feel as though we have just worked ourselves into reverse. The last couple months of us living together have been good a majority of the time. However, we get into fights, and have problems like anyone else. Except, if I tell him something that has been bugging me, and he doesn't like it, he shuts down. Completely. He wont talk to me for the rest of the day/night.

Honestly, I don't understand. He spent so much time breaking down my walls, and now, 13 months later he is building his own. Honestly, I feel as though it is a little hypocritical and very disrespectful. I'm not telling him I don't love him anymore, I just want to have an open discussion about something I have been thinking about. And I'm tired of being the one that always gives in, and forgives him.

And I understand my emotions might be going crazy on their own since I moved and have been missing jennifeR and Andrea and everyone like crazy, and have yet to find anyone down here that really has the potential to be as good a friend as them. I'm trying to take that into consideration as much as possible. But it just hurts to feel like you are trying to work towards something, but another person is just working against it.