So yesterday my whole family came down to columbia to go to Medieval Times to celebrate Mike's birthday( yes, i know, a month late). Of course, since my mom likes to slowly move all of my crap out of her house, she brought down some bags of old clothes that i had stashed somewhere. Mike and I were both shocked that i really had any left there, since i've already sifted through numerous bags that my mom has brought down. All the clothes are a result of my working at gap for 2+ years. Its really a simple equation... 20hours (at least) of being around clothes + a generous discount + no self control = lot of clothes.

This morning i took on the task of going through all the stuff. I found a few peices that were salvageable, but definitely needed to be tried on before a final decision could be made. One of the shirts that could be saved was just a plain white long sleeve tee from hollister. An obvious wardrobe staple. I happened to catch a glimpse of the tag as i was trying it on and it was a Large. And you know what, it fit perfectly. A Large... fit me.. PERFECTLY. Now, not to sound conceited, but I am not a fucking large. Trust me, my friends would vouch for that. In any other store besides one owned by the Abercrombie and Fitch conglomerate I would be a small. I'm pretty sure even in high fashion lines that tend to err on the side of small wouldn't even consider me a large. But in the hollister world i'm the equivalent of a fat pig. Its no wonder young girls today have eating disorders and self esteem issues in alarming numbers. I mean, i was almost a little depressed trying on that size large shirt, and i don't even have self-esteem issues. And i know that those stores are targeted a younger age group, but honestly i know i couldn't changed thats much since when i bought that shirt way back when i was a mere teen. So if i can feel a little hurt, i can't even imagine the young girls that are a little more impressionable.

Now i probably shouldn't even get into the demographic that actually wastes their time and money their because that would just regress into the how much i hate the little kids with cell phones and coach/prada/juicy purses that drink starbucks coffee.

I mean what did happen to being just a kid? When i was in high school i didn't even pay attention to how i looked. (Not saying i was a slob by any means... i mean i did work at gap, it just didn't rank as high on my list) I didn't get a cell phone until i was a senior, and that was only because i had gotten my license, and a job. I didn't have coach and juicy purses. I had whatever i could afford on my gap money, since my mom had already refused to buy me anymore clothes. I was more worried about softball, and school and having fun with my friends. Everyone is just to much in a rush to get to the next step. Even mike and i are guilty of rushing ahead. Lately we've been so concerned about saving money, and buying a house that we can't even appreciate how far we've gotten already.


But i guess that its all innate to how americans live their lives. We've all just fallen in line in the system of the "american way" and we're all just living the "american dream". Quantity tops quality, time is money, and everyday is a good day to diet.

I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to not worry about money, and making enough of it. I want the best things, not the most things. I want to eat whatever mike can make me, and not count the calories, grams of fat, or worry about the chemicals i may or may not have put in my body.

i just want to go to bed every night, feeling like i made something of my day.