The last couple nights i've had some trouble falling asleep at night because my mind has been racing..

First of all my numbers at the airport, suck. I'm being blunt because its true. The managers put together a preliminary matrix, one reflecting sales through the first half of the month, and I was on the bottom. Yes i understand that i'm only 3 weeks into my rotation there, but the bottom is not a comfortable place for me. In normal circumstances I would feel motivated. But I just don't. I've realized less then a year with the company that Enterprise is just not for me. My passion is in Fashion & Retail Management, and i know this, and therefore have no motivation (besides monetary) to pretend like i love my job and be gung ho Enterprise. Which leads me to my second cause of stress. I've realized too late (about 75,000 dollars too late) what my passion is. I love fashion and business and my poor misguided and altruistic side led me to dump money into a political science degree, i've done (and most likely will do ) little with. Now i've been tossing around the idea of going back to school, not for a masters, but for a B.S in Fashion and Retail Management. I've come to the conclusion that a Merchandising Degree is basically mandatory (short of me networking my way into a job) for the career I want. What i'm stressed about is considering the idea of taking on more student loan debt at this time. I just don't think i am in a financial position to go back to school. And since i need to make money to pay off my debt, and eventually go back to school in order to get the career i want, i'm stuck with enterprise, because it pays the bills. The icing on the cake though was the conversation Mike and I had yesterday. We basically came to the conclusion that neither of us want to stay in Maryland forever. The cost of living sucks, and honestly so do the neighborhoods. I love the city. But I do not love the Suburbs. I thought living in Columbia was going to be a little like East Lansing. But boy was i wrong. Columbia is just overcrowded. Going to restaurants, movies and even target is more of a chore then a pleasant experience, and all the people ignorant and rude. But what do we do? Financially we can't afford a move, and technically (and contractually) mike is locked in for another year in Baltimore county. But is one year enough to change everything? Make it possible for us to move out of the area, find new jobs? or transfer from old ones.. and maybe buy a house instead of wasting money on rent?

just thinking about it all makes my head spin. I know I don't tend to act stressed on the outside, but i am feeling it on the inside.